Worst pain ever!!! (you can't fade ME!!!)

"Woke up quik right about..." Boyz N The Hood - Eazy E

No, it's not an Eazy E lyric... if only it was that nice. I was awakened to some intense pain/cramping in my lower left back around 3:30-4am this morning. I simply just tried to roll over and go back to sleep. I thought to myself, "maybe my dinner was too spicy." Naw... about an hour later I wake up from the pain and hobble my way to the bathroom. I'm thinking, "just chill, you probably just need to relax and go to the bathroom." I tried to take a couple deep breaths and keep myself from throwing up by going through the latest issue of Vibe with Obama on the cover. "Just chill... you didn't drink last night and you only had a couple slices of pizza for dinner... so that shouldn't be making you sick."

Long story short I DIDN'T just need to chill, I needed to die... or at least felt like I was going to die. The pain in my lower back became intense I tried to touch my kidney area and it was followed with PAIN, PAIN, PAIN!!! Now, this may be too much information, but I basically ended up naked curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor waiting to die. And as I'm lying there in this intense pain thinking, "this is it," do I call out to my wife or think of her? Do I have my life flash before my eyes? No, all I think of is, "I HAVE TO VOTE FOR OBAMA... I CAN'T LET THAT DOUCHE WIN!" HAHAHA Maybe, it was because of the Vibe issue I was reading or maybe it's because I've been following this election and at an apex that I need to see finished. (much like everyone else) Did that motivate me to get off the floor? HELL NO! You, crazy? My ass was down and out like a high school dropout.

So, as I lie there in pain... moaning, my wife wakes up, comes in and sees the wreck that I am. Within a minute or two we're on the way to ER and we're both pretty convinced I've got a kidney stone. BLAM!!!! Go to the ER, get plugged in and a little drugs to kill the pain. All good. I then get carted down to have a CT scan. Now, if you've never had a CT scan it's like being half naked and going through the "Stargate," only you don't go through time and space, but the machine actually tells you to hold your breath. Now, that in it self scares the phawk out of me. I'm lying there and this computer voice comes on, "hold breath," then the bed moves and the "Stargate" starts spinning. I would say that time and space began to move and shift in some Steven Hawking theory, but if anything happened it was probably due to what they dropped in my IV.

So, it WAS a kidney stone and after a few hours of waiting for someone to cut me loose I'm on my way home. It's all about the fluids now till I fully pass this stone which could take 24 to 48 hours AND I have to basically filter my "precious essance" to see if I've actually passed the stone. What a way to spend my weekend, thumbs up!!!

So, what have I learned over the process of this painful experience? Those REPUBS CAN'T FADE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still here b!*ches!!!!!