Here we are once again with another installment of crap cinema. These are a couple films that I've enjoyed in the past, but honestly are some bad films.
Let's start off with "Starchaser: The Legend of Orin." I saw this movie in the theater when it came out. It was originally in 3D, before the over the top fad of 3D dominated everything in theaters. Then 3D was such a rare treat that when they'd show some wack John Wayne movie like "Hondo" on TV in 3D everybody would run out to where ever they were selling the glasses and buy them up. So, here I am... about 4 or 5 and waiting in the snow outside the movie theater to see this movie. I remember they actually had someone tell us that the print of the film was delivered late and they were putting the reels together as we stood in line. (no time to make sure all of the reels were there or if it was put together properly... there were people waiting)
I remember we went inside and got our glasses. (which were closer to the popular 3D glasses they use now instead of the classic red and blue joints from back in the day) The movie started and honestly all I remember was that it was a complete and TOTAL rip off of "Star Wars." Even at such a young age I was sitting there thinking, "so... he's Han, he's Obiwan, he's Luke... that's a lightsaber etc." And after that... that was it. I totally forgot the name of the movie and a majority of the storyline. I always remembered seeing this 3D sci-fi movie, but couldn't remember the name of it and no one I knew had any idea of what I was talking about. (except my dad) So... now that we are now in this beautiful digital age of search engines, forums & youtube, I simply typed in "Star Wars rip off cartoon 3D" and BLAM there it is. "Starchaser: The Legend of Orin."
From simply looking the film up on youtube, it looks like you can watch the whole movie in several parts. I've just thrown a few up so you can check some of it out. If you remember "Fire & Ice," "Heavy Metal," "Wizards" or "The Lord of the Rings" animated films, you'll see a similar style.
It isn't hard to believe that this film is pretty rare. About a year or two ago I was able to get a copy from Netflix and watch it, but upon looking for it again, they don't have a copy. (probably because someone "lost" the few copies they had or it just got damaged) And by the way... when I did get that copy a year or two ago, I didn't even make it through the film. I ended up passing out after 30-40 minutes only to wake up 5 minutes before the credits rolled and the "Obiwan" character is telling Orin that the "not copywritten force" was in him.
(Review from Netflix by someone who worked on the film)
"Yeah, I was a production assistant on this movie for 3 years. I am also the voice of "Boro" the Mandroid in the swamp sequence. "I get his arm!" This was one of the first post-TRON movies to use computer generated ships. We had plotters drawing each ship on paper for both left and right eye views. Given the limits of computing power of the time, this took forever! The story was a rip-off of every Sci-Fi film out there but the 3D was cool to see in animation. If anyone has those glasses that you use for some T.V. shows that give you a faux 3D feel they work quite well for alot of the movie. The quality of the animation shifted so much because we did some of it better to get investors in the film....As production went along money dried up, quality suffered and re-takes didn't happen as it had to get out to theaters. Oh well! Good film though, nice to see if finally on DVD in widescreen instead of the dreadful VHS pan and scan!!!!"
On to the next one. This film has been a guilty pleasure forever. I am talking of none other than "Ice Pirates."
Like "Starchaser" this story begins with waiting in a long line outside only to have someone say that there was something wrong with the print and they couldn't show the film. I honestly don't know how or when I ended up seeing it. Most likely I ended up seeing it on video, but I do know it was a staple on TBS alongside "Beastmaster" that I watched on the regular. So bad... but so good.
Brief synopsis... the universe is running out of water, so it becomes the next big currency... space & pirates are involved. What more do you need? Robots, space herpes... this is a craptastic popcorn movie for a Saturday night.
In fact...
A week ago I was with my wife at a Big Lots and I just happened to walk by there DVDs and see this staring me in the face with Robert Ulrich's pretty eyes. No words were spoken, I simply grabbed it and made a B-line to my wife. Upon showing it to her she simply uttered, "YES!" with the same amount of excitement I had when discovering it. (and that's why I love her)
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